Month: November 2002

If you’re not Chad Schaefer and you don’t enjoy skidding around on ice all winter, here are Scooterworks’ tips for winter scooter storage.

Quote of the day:
“Bedell may be the only person in the world that would talk about putting Cheng Shins on a Ducati.” o The Gome.
Here’s a nice motorcycle tire reference page, not that you asked.

Sunday, December 1, 2002 is the date for the 25th annual Toys for Tots Motorcycle Parade. It starts at 83rd & Western on the southside and ends at the Marine Center at Foster & Troy on the northside. Bring a new, unwrapped toy (suggestions are listed on the site). It’s a really great time and it’s for a worthy cause.

Jag spends $30,000 to rice-out $12 civic. 2sB benefit for Mykr in the works. Give generously so he can get lasers to shoot from his tailpipe.

The Genuine Scooter Companysite has been updated with lots more info about the Stella, and they’re swearing they’ll be here by Christmas.

It’s Mykrrr’s worst nightmare, the Flagship II is back on the road for the first time in fifteen years, thanks to our friends at Zombie MPH Skate Shop in Oak Park, IL (315 W. Madison, Oak Park, 708.358.8507). No the trucks aren’t backwards. Yes, they sell less ludicrous skateboards, but I’m keeping it Old Skool. Watch this space for injury reports. Thanks Wayne and Rob, everyone go check out the shop!

VCOA has announced the location and dates of Amerivespa 2003.

Man, when did we become so hateful? We’re like Max-X, only not funny.

As if 2SB isn’t wussy enough: ScooterGal Confidential. More of those uppity California girls. We’re gonna have to start some kinda rumble with them in Vegas and see who Hyder and Nelly side with.

There were a couple hundred stories in the press over the last few days about the NYC Vespa Boutique opening and all the fabulous celebrities that ride Vespas, but I’m not going to even bother posting links because you can tell they were all written from the same PiaggioUSA press release. Did you know that Piaggio was founded in 1946? So now there are something like thirty Vespa dealers in NYC. This is something Jim-Bob should be covering anyway.

Pride of Cleveland became an official Joe Rocket dealer today:
Phil: My only problem with Joe Rocket is they’re made in Pakistan.
JR Rep: Not anymore, as of last March none of it is made in Pakistan.
Phil: Where’s it made then? (thinking Central America, etc.)
JR Rep: China. The quality has gone up significantly and the leathers smell
better.
Phil: Smell better?
JR Rep: Yeah, in Pakistan they cure all their leather products in Cow Urine.
Phil: What !?
JR Rep: Ever wonder why your leathers smell so funky the first time you sweat
in them. It’s the curing process in Pakistan, giant vats of cow urine with
hides soaking in it.
Phil: Damn, you learn something new every day. I guess China ain’t so bad.

by Vina Vroom, sung to the tune of “In the Ghetto”

On a cold and wet Chicago night
Well, two old bikes fell off a trailer
In*ze ghetto
(In*ze ghetto)

And Nenita cried
eCause if thereis one thing that she donit need
Itis more than just the brakes to bleed
Morimoto
(Morimoto)

People donit you understand
These bikes, they need a helping hand
Or we wonit get to ride high again someday
Take a look at you and me
Now just what do you see
These bikes they are too pretty
To be left in a heap
In*ze ghetto
(In*ze ghetto)

The car wheels eround
And a fat little girl with a runny nose
Jumps out of the car and a cold wind blows
In*ze ghetto
(In*ze ghetto)

And she spies Breaky
So she starts to kick at the rear taillight
Puts a dent in the pipe*
And she screams, iF this shitei
In*ze ghetto
(In*ze ghetto?

And the crowd gathers eround the angry young girls
Bikes in the street, autumn leaves eround them swirl
In*ze ghetto
(In*ze ghetto)

Load them up again
Get back in the truck
Once again, press our luck
In*ze ghetto

An Australian couple on a 30,000km round-the-world trip to raise funds for multiple sclerosis have had their motorcycle stolen in south Wales – just one day before completing their journey in London. The assholes probably just crashed it a couple of blocks away and left it in a bush.

Miss Grace of the Black Windows writes, “Look at the cool scooter poncho my shmoopy brought back from China! I
can’t wait to use it and have the front part blow up in my face and
suffocate me. The handy clear panel will allow you to watch me die!” I was going to Photoshop Grace’s face onto the photo, but she said “don’t bother, we all look the same.”

in an extreme act of desperation, Pochacco was kidnapped from Sanrio Wednesday afternoon and is being held for ransom. A note was found later along with this photo. The note reads “Dear Hello Kitty, if you ever want to see your cardboard friend again, please deliver his yellow and white Bajaj Chetak scooter to the corner of Clark and Balmoral and place the keys in the New City newsbox (nobody reads New City anymore).” We’ll report more details as they become available.