Fire Struggling to Keep Heads Up

onenil.gifMaybe there are some universal truths, even between soccer players and scooterists. After getting through another Niagara, which included rain, drinking, drunkenness, rain, the flipping over of my tent due to strong winds, a diet that could only be described as “minimally life-supporting,” and some more rain, I only needed one thingo sleep. Lots of it.
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Letter from Mr V. Mushayandebvu

Has anyone else recieved this cryptic email?


I am the assistant manager of the palace’s northwest wing starbucks for the King of Zimbabwe. Along with my duties of making sure that our King’s morning coffee is at the required temperature and sweetness (he likes a lot of sugar), I am in charge of the exportation of non-vital non-military personnel carriers.

Due to an uprising amongst militant gorillas we are forced to export all of our non-vital non-military personnel carriers. We have a strong desire to do future business with you, upon completion of this task. This could amount to Millions in U.S. dollars.

We originally contacted the North American Motorized Bike Lover’s Association N.A.M.B.L.A., but were told by them that they can only accept vehicles with a child safety seat (i don’t understand, you americans are over protective of children, maybe)

What we would like to do is give you a Stella Scooter. For almost nothing! This scooter will be “donated” from Genuine Scooter Company of Chicago, and along with contacts at American Corporation Sportique Scooters, in Denver, Colorado. Once you have received your scooter, we will contact you in the not to distant future, to arrange the transfer of up to $15 Million in U.S. dollars (note, U.S. and not canadian)

We ask that you receive this Genuine Scooter Company of Chicago Stella in the following manner.

1) You must go to Denver Colorado, to the MILE HIGH MAYHEM SUPER HAPPY FUN LUCKY RALLY #7 (this is in arrangements with our asian “business” partners) the weekend of July 29th-August 1st, 2004.

2) You must attend this event under the disguise of what you Americans call a Scooterist. You must make it look like you are having fun.

3) You must buy at least 1 raffle ticket, but to ensure that your cover is not exposed we think you should buy as many as you can (don’t worry, this raffle is fixed, you will win scooter, and the Millions in U.S. dollars will be more then compensation)

4) There are many, many of other prizes we have put in raffle, if you win, just pretend that you are surprised. You can keep, consider gift in good will.

5) Once you have won, you must use scooter, so that we can track where you are, after the MILE HIGH MAYHEM SUPER HAPPY FUN LUCKY RALLY #7

To make arrangements please visit:

We have chosen this event, because is North American Premier Scooter Event. Please go to, to see other American Partners who have received Scooters at this rally.

Please to look for more information on this rally, soon.

Mr V. Mushayandebvu

Scooter Parking in Chicago

scootparking.gifSince writing my rant about buying a scooter, I’ve received dozens of emails asking about the parking laws in Chicago and elsewhere. I didn’t really know where to start until 2SB reader Dan Applebaum sent me several ordinances he found when researching the issue. So first of all, many thanks to Dan for taking the time to look all this up and share it with us.
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U.S. scooter sales up 20%

The March,2004 issue of Dealer News reports that U.S scooter sales are increasing at a 20% annual rate, and now comprise about 3% of the powersports market. 47,000 legitimate scooters were sold in 2003, possibly closer to 60,000 including grey-market and non-DOT-approved units. Their top 10 U.S. scooter markets (2003):

  1. Los Angeles (2039 units)
  2. Chicago (1762)
  3. New York City (1668)
  4. Minneapolis/St. Paul (1401)
  5. Miami/Ft. Lauderdale (1201)
  6. Denver (1174)
  7. Seattle/Tacoma (1031)
  8. Salt Lake City (1022)
  9. D.C./Maryland (1014)
  10. Bay Area (955)

Ice Creamy Thanda effect!

Also from Andrunka, and speaking of scooters in commercials: the Vanilla Coke site from India. Indian Actor Vivek Obero, who appears to be the Pauly Shore of Bollywood, rides a Lambretta in the TV spot, and there’s a big photo in the “mobile parampara” link (it’ll come up eventually on the bottom, the navigation is insane). According to the marketing company, the campaign also involves a team of Lambretta-riding Wacaw dancers that will visit busy neighborhoods and bust out into a dance production. This whole story is giving me flashbacks to my old job, I need to stop now.

Ride Carefully, Janklow on the loose

Former South Dakota governor and senator Bill Janklow was released from prison this morning after serving 100 days for running down a motorcyclist. Janklow had racked up 13 speeding tickets since 1990, and had previously been ticketed in the rural intersection in which the accident took place. Insiders say Janklow plans to appeal his probation to allow him to retire to Florida, after which he’ll eventually die and serve the rest of his sentence in hell.

Road to Lisbon

kahn.jpgTeri Slugrocket tipped us off that the new Adidas ads are showing during Fox Sports World Premiership match broadcasts. I’m going to go out and buy six pairs of Gazelles tonight. Becks sounds awfully excited about his scooter, considering he never even rode it. I’m not generally excited about ads, but c’mon, soccer stars, scooters, AND “It’s Caper Time!” NEWS FLASH: the ad was on Adidas’ site all along, but I had popups turned off: Road To Lisbon. It cracks me up that they put Oliver Kahn on a Heinkel Tourist.