FAQ about 2SB

by Bryan Noise

If you have any questions this FAQ doesn't answer, please email Bryan Noise

What is 2strokeBuzz?
Well, it was a magazine that i guess people seemed to like. I started it in 1996 because I was getting into scootering and couldn't find much out there, other than a few European magazines and really homemade zines, most of which were a little too mod- and/or skin-centric for my taste.

What happened?
You know, like all zine publishers, I got promoted at work, and married, and bought a house, and got old, and it was a lot of work. Also, a lot of good web pages started to show up, and Scoot! Quarterly started up.

I bet that pissed you off.
No, actually Barry and Casey emailed me a few times to ask about how I did 2strokeBuzz. I have "real" publishing experience too, so I told them how I handled 2strokeBuzz, but also gave them some pointers on how to do a real magazine. A few months later I got a media kit from SQ that was more professional than Rolling Stone's. It did bum me out that it made my zine look so pathetic, but more power to 'em, they did a great job with it. I'm proud of them.

What's up with the "lost issue?"
2strokeBuzz #4, aka "2strokeBuzz Internationale" promised to be the best issue ever. More than a year in the making, it included reports from around the world by several contributors, some of which had actually done lots of painstaking research and sent me great photos and memorabilia (most notably David from Japan and Stein from Norway). I was 90% finished with it and then a whole lot of personal stuff (mostly good but some bad) happened and I never got around to printing it. By the time I got my act together, most of the information was out of date and I had already lost touch with most of my advertisers, subscribers and contributors, so I never had it printed. But now that it's nearly "retro," you really should check it out in the "issues" section of 2strokeBuzz.com.

So why are you back?
For a few reasons. Mostly because I missed doing it. I also wanted to learn how to design for the web, and Vina bought me the site for my birthday, kinda like Laura gets Rob a DJ gig in High Fidelity because he's getting old and feeling sorry for himself. I like sites like McSweeney's and Suck.com with rotating content and wanted to do something that scooterists could check regularly and see new stuff. I still receive a few subscription requests a week, so there must be a little bit of interest. I also figured if I did it on the web, the printing and mailing costs and time would be eliminated, and more people could see it and be involved.

What's with the name? It sounds like a porno magazine.
Yeah, I guess it does. I was going to call it "Nice Moped, Asshole," but I was worried people might think it was a moped 'zine. I chose 2strokeBuzz because I liked the triple entendre: the mental buzz you get from riding, the physical buzz you get from inhaling 2-stroke exhaust, and the gossip/news "buzz" about scootering. The Two Stroke Smoke (TSS) mailing list started around the same time and people have confused us ever since.

Do you accept submissions?
Yes, we love submissions, that's what we hope to be the main content of 2strokeBuzz.com. Anything is welcome, fiction, nonfiction, music, how-to, reviews, artwork, cartoons, comics, reviews, we'd probably even run poetry, if it came down to it. We'd especially love to have some regular columns and serialized stories and comics. Yes. Submissions good. Submissions make site happy.

Do you pay for submissions.
Unfortunately, no. We can't.

But you sell merchandise! You fascist! You're building an empire on the sweat of the proletariat!
Well, yeah, we sell a little bit of merchandise, which might someday pay a fraction of our costs for the domain name and webhosting. Most of our merchandise is stuff we made to give away as rally prizes to promote the site, so think of it not as merchandise, but as an ad for your work.

So why should I give you the hard-earned fruit of my labor for free?
Because people will see it, and be entertained and informed, and it may lead to bigger and better things, and it looks good on your resume. We do a lot of hard work to run, maintain, and promote the site, and we get fuck-all for it, but we like doing it. We like the Karmic implications of giving to the scooter community. Also, of course, you retain all rights to your work and you're welcome to publish it elsewhere or pull it from 2strokeBuzz.com at any time.

Well, I sent you a sh'load of stuff/money before and I never heard from you, asshole!
I've got some excuses, but you don't need to hear them. Most of the missing articles are in the "lost" issue, #4, and others will appear on the site as I find them on old SyQuest cartridges. There are also a few people who paid for subscriptions and only got a couple issues, I apologize, but a lot of you moved around a lot or subscribed just before I hung it up. I've got dozens of checks that I never cashed, and I think most of the people that sent cash late in the game got what they paid for. If you feel you were wronged, let me know, I actually kept marginally accurate records and I can see where we stand. Please, find it in your heart to forgive me.

Will you contribute to my 'zine/website/anarchist tract/porn/etc.?
I'd love to.

Is there anything you won't publish? I can't handle rejection.
We're definitely open to just about anything, I'll revise that opinion in the off-chance that we're actually successful, and we can afford to turn anything down. In the meantime, I imagine we'd reject anything promoting violence or racism or anything submitted for the sole reason of self-promotion. We're happy to put a link to your projects in your bio, but we don't want to run an ad posing as content. I guess we'd turn down stuff that didn't have anything at all to do with scooter culture unless we thought it was somehow of value to our readers.

No racism? How can we make fun of the Amish and people from Canadia?
Canadians and the Amish are excluded from the anti-racism stance. They must be stopped at all costs. Fuckers.

Oh, good…So, how's it going so far?
Pretty well, I'm happy with the way it looks, and we're getting a decent number of hits, especially as it's starting to show up on search engines and word-of-mouth is spreading. As long as we can keep getting new content up and get people coming back, we'll be happy. We have no obligations to advertisers or anything, so we can afford to do it at our own pace and "keep it real." and "D-I-Y" and all that.

D-I-Y?
Do-it-yourself. That's really what scootering is all about, right, making your own scene, and keeping a 30-year old machine running with nothing but your wits, your friends, and a rusty spanner? Why do you think there's a scooter in every ad on TV? It's a symbol of something that most people will never have, because they lack the patience and dedication to control the direction of their own life.

Whoo, heavy.
Allright, I get sort of bombastic sometimes.

Will you ever do a print version again?
Once 2strokeBuzz.com gets going, I'd love to do a yearly compilation of the best pieces and sell it on the site and at scooter shops. If I did that, I would pay royalties to the writers, but it wouldn't be much, probably. Unless I got a big book deal or something...

Are old issues available for sale?
Nope, I'm pretty much sold out of everything. Acrobat .pdf files can be found in the "issues" section, it takes a while to download them, but they're chock-full of good stuff.

Can I put a link to your site on my page?
Can you? I'm begging you to! Here are some link icons, feel free to add them to your page, and let me know if you need something in a different size. Link them to "http://www.2strokebuzz.com"

Let me know if you'd like me to link to your page, too. I'll rotate links on my links page every so often, but I don't want too many there. Vespa.org has an incredible links page, so I'd rather link to them and just have a few favorites on my page.

May I leave now, this has become really dull?
Yes, you may. Thanks.

©2000 2strokeBuzz and contributors. What is 2strokeBuzz?
Submissions, comments and questions: Contact illnoise@2strokeBuzz