“If a scooter under a tarp is art” part deux

Call me uncultured, (despite my BFA) but scooters keep popping up in art, and I don’t get it. “On the first floor, you find the single altar-like sculpture by Mark Handforth, candles dripping rippling waves of wax over an overturned Vespa in Vespa Fountain. There’s no photo, but apparently Mark got bored with his previous scultpure, called simply “Vespa” (another view) and turned it on its side. Magnifique!”

Hooliganism and Chaos During 2-0 Defeat for the Villains

onenil.gifThis past Monday suprisingly saw the return of hooligan-laden English football circa 1985. Hooligans, head-butts and pitch invaders all made for a completely bizarre and violent affair at Villa Park with fans running amok and hooligans covering their faces as missiles were readied to attack the visiting fans. The match died in the closing minutes, but the fans kept the game alive and viewers riveted to their televisions. Both Birmingham City and Aston Villa are facing relegation to Division One and this derby match was sure to see fireworks, but I don’t think anybody thought it would end quite like this.
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CWC2004 ends

Ryetronics’ second annual Cold Weather Challenge came to an end yesterday, with some impressive results. R.J. Neumieister took first place with a 11.8-mile ride at -14*F in Platteville, Wisconsin. With the huge amounts of snow and ice this year, it took a sidecar Helix to win it.

  1. R. J. Neumeister: 11.8 mi@-14F, 2000 Honda Helix (w/sidecar), Platteville, WI.
  2. Chad Schaefer: 18.1mi@-8F, Junk Vespa, Chicago, IL.
  3. Paul Steinmeyer: 11.4mi@-8F, Kymco ZX-50, Colchester, CT.
  4. Andrew S. Baca: 10.5mi@-6F, 1963 Lambretta Li150, ME.
  5. Duane Hillebrand: 15mi@-4F, 2003 Stella, Chicago, IL.

Coach Vespas not for sale

We’ve found out a little more about the Coach Vespas since last week. The “Hampton Stripe” model was featured in the New York Times (thanks to Grace, who comments “It makes me want to stab myself with a really expensive cheese knife.”) and one of our inside sources tells us that Coach Eyewear made nine promotional scooters, to be sold for charity, then Coach’s PR department told every publication on earth they were for sale at your local Vespa dealer. Panicked dealers asking PiaggioUSA for details were told that no plans are underway for mass production. Which is probably for the best, because Antonio on the Pontadera production line was getting really worried about painting engine cases pink.

Final proof, as if you need it, that David Beckham utterly sucks and all scooterists should hate him

The Glasgow Daily Record reported Friday that Beckham called for a stunt double rather than being towed on a mod Vespa for a new Adidas commercial. Becks’ Real Madrid teammates Zidane and Raul were more than happy to do the stunt themselves.

Shoulda taken the day off

It’s National Pig Day and Brookfield Zoo’s celebration includes “the National Pig Day Parade, pig cards, bookmarks, pig noses and paper hand puppets, and ‘Pigopolis,’ an animated video about a city of pigs who learn to become conservation conscious.” I’m not sure if they cook ’em up at the end of the day, but I kinda doubt it. Also in bacon news, Grateful Palate has named bacon “Product of the Year.” So kick back with a Bacontini and celebrate. I should have today off anyway, it’s Kasimir S. Pulaski Day. Thanks for the links, Ryan and Durso, no pun intended.