The Onion predicts the future!

“Dozens Dead In Chicago-Area Meatwave.” If it’s gonna happen, it’s gonna happen at Galewood. Quinton even wrote a song about it:


Meatwave
by Agent Meat
Whenever I eat it
Something inside starts burning
And my hearts filled with fire
Stop this, it’s got a hold on me
I said this ain’t the way meat’s supposed to be
It’s like a meatwave burning in my heart
I can’t keep from crying
Tearing meat apart
Whenever it calls my name
Sounds so soft sweet and juicy
Right there, right then
I feel this burning pain
This high blood pressure’s got a hold on me
I said this ain’t the way meat’s supposed to be
It’s like a meatwave burning in my heart
I can’t keep from crying
Tearing meat apart
This high blood pressure’s got a hold on me
I said this ain’t the way love’s supposed to be
It’s like a meatwave burning in my heart
I can’t keep from crying
Tearing meat apart
Whenever I eat it
Something inside starts burning
And my hearts filled with fire
Something’s got me amazed
Don’t know what to do
My head’s in a haze
It’s like a meatwave burning in my heart
I can’t keep from crying
Tearing meat apart
This high blood pressure’s got a hold on me
I said this ain’t the way meat’s supposed to be
It’s got a meatwave