Peeball results

Arsenal’s season is over, so let’s talk about the only other sport that matters: Niagara Peeball action!

ROUND 1: Atti (POC), Glen (22LSC), Adam (XYLSC), and Rick (PVSC): Atti and Rick barely made dents in their peeballs, Adam gave up with about a third of his ball gone, stepped back, and Glen thought he’d lost, so he poured most of his beer on his ball. Adam was declared the winner until Judge Kim testified that Glen’s ball was almost gone when he poured his beer on it. A meeting was held and Glen was declared winner.

ROUND 2 Mikey (POC), Chad (JKSC), Phil (POC), and Bill (Toronto): No contest here, Bill totally dissolved his ball in less than ten seconds. No one else even came close. It was agreed that Bill and Glen would be given an hour to get ready for the final pee-off.

THE FINAL: a half hour later, Glen was begging me to start. I hunted for Bill and found him standing on a table in the bar with a gallon jug of water. No go, he wanted to wait. at the prescribed time, Bill and Glen arrived at the urinals squirming. A crowd gathered and the signal was given. Amazingly, both finalists entirely dissolved their peeballs, but Glen narrowly edged out Bill for the win, dissolving his ball just a second or two faster. All were amazed at how much fun it can be to watch guys pee, and we’ll try to do it again at Slaughterhouse if we can procure some more peeballs. Thanks to Akyana, who discovered peeball in the first place and brought the balls back from England, to Deanna, who got the ball rolling Saturday night, so to speak, and to all the participants, who gladly allowed dozens of people to photograph their genital piercings.