Smallwood’s fall from #1

From the Cutter News Service | ST.LOUIS | Great Stalins Ghost!! Sizzling off the newswire, local scooter shop owner by day/racing
superstar by night, SSScott Smallwood is MASS #1 NO MORE!!!

Smallwood’s non-attendance at this weekend’s MASS (Mid-American Scooter Sport) season closer at Gateway International Speedway, allowed the scion of St. Louis, Jimmy “Modracer” Hogenmiller to accumulate enough points to surpass Smallwood’s sizeable lead. Hogenmiller, himself the #2 MASS pilot, took first place finishes in both heats of the MASS finale, and in doing so, has ended Smallwood’s three year vicelock domination of the #1 position. Neither racer could be reached for comment. Team Supersonic lackey Josh Griffith seemed awestruck at the news: “Man, it’s like that scene in Rocky IV, you know, where Rocky’s getting his ass kicked, then swings back and knocks Dolph Lundgren on the head. And
the scrappy trainer ogre says: YOU SEE! HE BLEEDS! He,… wait, it’s nothing like that, it’s more like that scene in The Graduate when Dustin Hoffman is sitting on the bottom of the pool in his scuba gear…wait…no… I’m so cold, so very very cold.”

Nevertheless, the stage has been set for the Circleville Invitational on October 18th, where Hogenmiller and Smallwood, the two titans of two-stroke will square off in the asphalt arena. Though not technically a points event, the event typically attracts a large number of racers from both MASS and ESRA, in search of Hot Sticky Action with other boys in leather on mopeds designed for women, all this not a pebbles throw from the sleepy burg of Columbus and the throbbing metropolitan sprawl of Circleville. emphasis on throbbing. Admission will be made to the public in exchange for ‘money.’ “Yeah, the bleachers are alright to see the race, but my seat is so awesome. It’s REAL close to the race and follows them going around and around the track. Ooh! and it seems like theres always another
racer coming up from behind and then going past me really fast.” Plausible advice indeed, again from Griffith. (c)Cutter News Ltd., 2003