For Immediate Release: Quintronitron

From: Rebecca J. Anderson

“Quintronitron the Highlight of the Summer”

Quintronitron, the highly anticipated scooter event of the summer, was deemed a success after yesterday’s record-breaking attendance.

“It was fun,” Kathy Anderson, Vespa owner and Quintronitron attendee said. “We sat around, ate pizza, ate brownies, drank beer and watched Rob Loudin [also a scooterist] try to fix his scooter.”

Anderson added that it was “goodtimes”.

Because of the sheer number of scooterists going to Quintronitron, non-scooterists were neither informed, nor invited to the event.

“I really wanted to keep the number [of attendees] at a scootering minimum,” Silent Ron said. “Non-scooterists don’t get it and we don’t want their kind involved in any way. We’re picky bastards like that.”

“Quintronitron” was started by long-time roommates and scooterists J. Quinton Snodgrass and Silent Ron (last name withheld) in the summer of 1998.