“Please, for yourself and for the Western Michigan community, have a garage sale, sell your moped, and join the world of adults.”

Western Michigan University’s student paper published a pointless, ridiculous column by 90s-goateed sportswriter Peter Schinkai yesterday, and the Moped Army is up in arms. They suggest calling the writer and paper to complain, but:

  1. I worked on the student paper all four years I was at Ohio University, and I know a hack student journalist Bob-Greene-stylee troll when I see it, I wrote a few myself (being Graphics Editor didn’t stop me from trying to write then, or now.) The guy is obligated to write two or three columns a week and he ran out of ideas three weeks into freshman year, so any attention he gets will just give him something to write about for weeks. Mark my words, he’ll relish the attention more than Chad in drag at a biker bar.
  2. I’ve seen those Moped Army guys ride, and God love ’em, but some of them really could use a few pointers on the laws of the road. And physics. (not that scooterists are that much better).

But yeah, Simon, that column is lame, agreed. Thanks to Ryetronics for hepping us to the controversy.