Zidane, McBride, Larsson reject Fire offers

Eager to mimic the Galaxy’s Beckham coup, the Chicago Fire have been turned down by two aging European superstars and the pride of Arlington Heights, IL. The team vowed to instead find a highly-rated hispanic or polish player to appeal to their core fans. The only thing more embarassing than signing Zidane is being rejected by Zidane. Why do I get the feeling this will end with Teddy Sheringham being dragged out of retirement? Sigh. (Thanks, Andrew.)