This interview with Stewart Nicol of the Patsys was so covert that Stewart wasn’t even aware that he was being interviewed. To maintain this level of secrecy, I couldn’t risk taping or writing down what he said, so it’s all paraphrased and I probably got it all wrong:
2SB: So it says on the Patsys site that you were a child actor?
SN: Yeah! Well, not really, but when we did the webpage they thought my profile was really boring, so one time while I was back in Spokane, they added “Child Actor” to my profile, and I came back and they were all like “Hi Child Actor, ha ha ha!” and I was like “I never even told you about that!” and they were like “You were a child actor?
2SB: So you were?
SN: Yeah! Well, no I wasn’t really a child, but I was in this really short-lived show on NBC, “Amazing Grace.” It only ran like six episodes.
2SB: I remember the name, what was it?
SN: It was Patty Duke, and she was a nun or something. I was only in one episode, I was a guy in a band, and the kid on the show was trying out to be our keyboard player. We were like this really lame metal band. I had blue hair and stuff, and I didn’t talk, it was all facial acting, like mugging “Hey, this guy is pretty good!”
2SB: So did he make the band?
SN: No, he left, and then the next shot was him outside our loft, the loft where the band was practicing, with his parents, and they were like “Well, how’d it go?” and he was like “They were terrible! I wouldn’t join that band if they paid me. Who would want to see that?”
2SB: And that was it for your Child Acting?
SN: I was like 18 or 19, I wasn’t really a child.
2SB: Oh, so this was like three years ago!
SN: Dude, I’m 27, I’m not that young!
2SB: So what are you guys doing tomorrow night?
SN: I dunno, we’re booked at Electrical Audio like 3pm ’til midnight.
2SB: Oh yeah? That’s awesome. Are you doing a single or an album?
SN: A single, it takes like a week to do an album.
2SB: I dunno, I hear Steve’s pretty efficient.
SN: Not that efficient.
Jeff (drummer): Stewart, we’re on in five.
Note: 2strokeBuzz will pay one million dollars for a VHS copy of Stewart’s appearance on “Amazing Grace.”
After the show at the Empty Bottle, Clockwise from top: Kathy, “The Finger,” Stewie, Lester Fucking Bangs, and M5. This isn’t The Patsys, by the way, it’s just Stewarts entourage. Most of my pictures of them sucked.
Here’s a really crappy video that does them no justice.