Scooter Swag Christmas

Scooter Swag (which I’ve been putting off posting about for ages, because I was trying to figure out a way to give it the props it deserves, but what the hell, i’ll just post it all snarky and halfass like this…) has a comprehensive rundown of the surprising number of scooter Christmas ornaments available this season. For the record, Tracy, Precious Moments figurines are neither “ironic” nor “cute,” even with a scooter.

3 thoughts on “Scooter Swag Christmas”

  1. And on top of that (I’ve become sort of obsessed) here are other reasons you should smash that Precious Moments “Scooter:”

    • It’s not a scooter, it has a gas tank and large wheels. I don’t know what the hell it is.
    • It has motherfucking CLOTH PATCHES sewn (sloppily) to the presumably-metal front fender. I have seen a lot of bodges in my day, but never metal repaired with fabric and thread.
    • That kid shouldn’t be riding a ceramic Chinese minibike, ESPECIALLY without a helmet.
    • what’s that crap under the rear fender? It’s like the sculptor just got bored and didn’t have a photo of the back of a bike for reference.
    • It would make a totally satisfying sound when you smashed it.

    But I love Scooter Swag, seriously… Crap, now I’ve started a “thing.”

  2. Tracy’s gonna kick your ass, now!

    I remember reading the agenda for the Cushman Club National Meet a few years ago and one of the highlights was “a trip to the Precious Moments factory for the wives. ” I was both totally repulsed, sadened, enraged, and curious about this.

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