Pssst! Secret Sales

We’re not sure why both the Phils (McCaleb of Scooterworks USA, and Waters of Pride of Cleveland Scooters), would both choose to include the word “Secret” in sales that they seem to be promoting pretty vigorously, but both promise the best deals of the year (in-store only), and both insist you “bring a truck.” POC’s “Super Secret Sale” is this Friday (11am-7pm) and Saturday (10am-6pm) at 2078 W. 25th St., Cleveland, OH, and Scooterworks’s “Super Secret Santa Saturday” is December 9, starting at 11am, at 5410 N. Damen Ave., Chicago. As Phil (the POC one) says, “Santa can’t be trusted – shop for yourself.” (The full text of POC’s email is posted as a comment, below).

3 thoughts on “Pssst! Secret Sales”

  1. Here’s POC Phil’s email, for reference:

    Mark your calendar-

    Set your sun dial-

    Write it on your forehead backwards-

    This FRIDAY (11AM / 7PM) and SATURDAY (10AM / 6PM) we are having our biggest
    (only) storewide sale of the year.

    Pride Of Cleveland Scooters
    2078 West 25th St.
    Cleveland, Ohio 44113 (in beautiful Ohio City)

    No call in orders, no phone sales, all deals must be final by close of
    business on Saturday.

    Just about EVERYTHING will be reduced.

    Now the really exciting part…

    If you’ve ever thought about buying a new scooter this is the time.

    We MUST reduce our inventory before tax-time. This means I’d rather lose
    money selling it to you at (or below) cost than keep it and pay property tax
    January 1st.

    We are not allowed to advertise the prices on these scooters, suffice to say
    you will NOT find a better deal.

    Bring a truck (and cash) for the best deals.

    Gloves – Marked Down
    Shirts – SLASHED!
    Jackets – Clean me out
    Helmets – Sold below cost
    Magazines – Bring a wheel barrow
    Accessories – Such a deal
    Toys – Christmas is coming

    Santa can’t be trusted – shop for yourself

    Phil Waters
    Pride Of Cleveland Scooters
    2078 W. 25 St.
    Cleveland, Ohio 44113

  2. someone better tell Kathy that phil’s selling pre-slashed shirts, so she can stock up for next years’ hair metal reunion tours.

  3. Uh, the “Secret” component to a “Secret Sale” is that you are keeping the prices of the articles you are selling a secret.

    This way folks MUST show up to find out exactly whether or not you’re actually making deals, or just pulling their chain.

    For the record we were selling scooters $1000 below msrp. Not just one scooter $1000 below msrp, damn near everything was at or below cost. For the record, it worked we sold 9 units in 7 hours and took in $45,000 which will mean that Renae can stay a full time employee and keep her benefits all winter.

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