Celebrities are just like us!

They sweet-talk their way out of scooter DUIs! So after you’re pulled over for weaving around Miami Beach at 4:11 AM, try telling the arresting officer “F**k you, I’m not drunk,” then later bragging “I’m friends with most cops in the city and they told me the guy who got me isn’t even liked by his colleagues. He’s a 400-pound f**k unfit for duty” Oh, wait, that only works for Mickey Rourke.

Oh, goody, more from fashion.ie:

Mickey had a passenger with him on the Vespa, but there’s no way anyone was getting a hold of her to testify. He doesn’t even know who the hell she was: Rourke said the mysterious blond riding on the back of the Vespa at the time of his arrest couldn’t have been used as a witness at a trial. “Don’t ask me her name,” Rourke says. “I have no idea who she was. I met her in a bar and never saw her again.”

And he’s looking good in the NY Post.