Author: illnoise

Mosquito Fleet

Professor Matthew pointed out that along with their Gatos Gordos story, the Seattle Times ran an equally well-written piece about the Mosquito Fleet, Seattle’s branch of the Moped Army, on the same day. The last paragraph is brilliant. We’re really looking forward to our Seattle trip now.

Put Bush on a Lammy

Durso’s busy today: Apparently some politicians are campaigning on Segways. If a politician showed up at my house on a $3000 toy, I’d wonder about his fiscal responsibilty. When looking up “Bush” and “motorscooter” on the web, I found this list of Secret Service Codenames:

  • BACKSEAT:
    Secret Service Motorscooter Unit
  • BELLHOP ONE:
    Secret Service Elipse Motorscooters
  • BELLHOP TWO:
    Secret Service White House Motorscooters

There’s a name for a DC club: the Backseat Bellhops SC.

RIP John Peel

One of my favorite memories of college was getting tanked on Krakus (Liberate another Pole!, we would say) with my socialist friends at my poli-sci teachers house and putting on the Wedding Present’s Ukrainski Vistupi V Johna Peela, and clog-dancing around the porch to “Davni Chasy,’ faster and faster as the song sped up, and eventually collapsing in a pile of giggles and putting on some Biz Markie. Those were the days, my friend.

scoot.net/chat fun

  • (newbie): how old is mod?
  • (newbie): never heard of it before now
  • beeb: 50s, 60s
  • (newbie): I mean the recent revival thing
  • beeb: there’s been a revival going on since the 50s, or 60s, heh
  • The_B: its been an ongoing joke since then.
  • (newbie): revival of what
  • beeb: the big revival started in the 70s/80s with the Jam, etc.
  • beeb: but, unfortunately, it’s never really gone away
  • beeb: seriously, LOOK ON THE WEB
  • beeb: it’s not a secret or anything
  • (newbie): I’ve never heard of this as a movement, honest and I’ve been on the web since the beginning
  • (newbie): this is so weird
  • beeb: www.modculture.com
  • (newbie): it must be a scooter thing
  • (newbie): yeah but is that site tongue in cheek? I want straight answers
  • beeb: you’ve never heard of bukakke, but if you look it up on the web, you’ll find it.
  • (newbie): is that some kind of dish?
  • The_B: ack!
  • beeb: uh, don’t look it up.
  • beeb: but trust me, it exists
  • (newbie): tell me then
  • (newbie): oy
  • (newbie): I’m at work
  • (newbie): I yahoo’d it. I hate you
  • beeb: heh
  • The_B: ack! again.
  • beeb: i told you not to. I was just proving my point that just because you’ve never seen something on the web doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist.
  • (newbie): I gotta clear my cache
  • The_B: can’t……stop… laughing.
  • beeb: yeah, you could get fired for trying to learn about Mods

Jackie Chan kicks ass for Bajaj

To promote their Discover DTS-i (Electric Start!) motorcycle, Bajaj brought in Jackie Chan, long famous for riding really nerdy underpowered pseudosportbikes in his movies. Here are two ( 1
2 ) magazine ads. When I glance at a headline and see “Master,” “Hand” and “Job,” I get weirded out. Thanks Patrick!

First Kick Alfie

Jude Law (quoted in ManchesterOnline): “I loved that Vespa. Even though I couldn’t get it to start at times, it was so much fun to ride.” Good to know to know that no amount of money, charm, or good looks can guarantee your scooter will start.

2sb Drinking game

Ok, i’ve been putting this off for too long, but it’s time for the 2strokeBuzz “Scooters in the news” Drinking Game:

  • Story mentions or alludes to Roman Holiday/Quadrophenia: 2 drinks.
  • Headline alludes to Roman Holiday/Quadrophenia: 4 drinks.
  • Story uses the words “cute,” “putt,” or “diminuative:” 1 drink per instance.
  • Uses the phrase “Easy Rider” “Born to be Mild” or “Mild Ones”: 2 drinks, 4 if it’s a headline.
  • Story mentions espresso, cappuchino, or other posh coffee product: 1 drink.
  • Story fails to mention any brand but Vespa: 3 drinks.
  • Story makes ridiculous claims about gas mileage: 1 drink.
  • Says “park anywhere:” 1 drink.
  • Compares them, favorably or not, to Harley Davidsons: 2 drinks.
  • Interviews yokel who traded motorcycle for a scooter and couldn’t be happier: 2 drinks.
  • Attributes scooter boom to high gas prices or the economy: 1 drink.
  • Mentions college students, commuters, or women as target market: 1 drink (each).
  • Uses phrase “not your father’s (whatever):” 2 drinks.
  • Features Piaggio promo photos: 1 drink.
  • Features a Costantino Sambuy quote from a PiaggioUSA press release, used as if the reporter talked to him: 3 drinks.
  • Incident of condescension: one drink, two if it’s condescending to women.
  • Calls scooters “mopeds” or calls mopeds, pocketbikes, Go-Peds, or electric bicycles “scooters:” 2 drinks
  • Blatant factual error: 2 drinks.
  • Egregious factual error (“the 500cc ET2”): 4 drinks
  • Appears in big city newspaper and doesn’t shout out to local clubs: 1 drink per club ignored.
  • Lists celebrities that own scooters: 1 drink per instance, 4 each if it’s Jay Leno or Jerry Seinfeld.

Post your suggestions in the comments and I’ll add them and link this up every time I post a news story.

Cingular Vespa giveaway

Cingular is giving away a Vespa ET2 and other prizes. You’re supposed to enter a code on your phone and then every time you text message someone, you have another chance to win, but non-Cingular customers can enter online (and probably get Cingular spam for eternity). But hey, you asked me to let you know about contests.

Tim Kerr art opening/DJ set


Scooterist and punk rock hero Tim Kerr of, well, too many bands to mention at this point, will be DJing soul music at the opening of an exhibition of his art at Delilahs on Halloween night. Not surprisingly, Tim’s art (and DJing) is just as fantastic as his music (some might even say more so, heh). I went to see (hear?) him DJ at Delilah’s a year or two ago, and it was great. Let’s get a good crowd there and talk him into giving up a song for the 2sb CD I’m trying to get together.

Scooter Comics Bonanza

Dave Gibbons’ The Originals, (Out now? Vertigo says 10/6, but Amazon lists it as a pre-order), looks to be another good addition to your pile of scooter comics, also including Blue Monday, Scooter Girl, and Deadenders. If your local mom’n’pop can’t get these comics for you, order from the links below and 2sb will get a tiny kickback: