Author: illnoise

Grace pointed out this BBS thread which links to a bicycle list claim that an empty Bic pen tube can open many Kryptonite locks with round keys. There’s been no response from Kryptonite on their site. IMPORTANT: Take note that the pen can jam your lock open or closed, so don’t try it if it’s currently wrapped around a bike. If this story is true, Kryptonite is in deep doo-doo.

If Google Language Tools is to be believed, twenty members of VespaOnline, an Italian organization, will be riding together across the Mohave Desert next month. Their president will be riding a Vespa Rally wired with computer goodies that seems fairly overdesigned and unprotected, a laptop in the glovebox would do the trick, though the touchscreen is a nice, uh, touch. They plan to hook up with the Cannonball Run riders, though it appears the Cannonballers are due in California a week before the Italians arive. We look forward to the stories of both groups.

Rumor has it that Chris Winters, who told me seven days ago that he’d never leave Rockford, is moving to Cleveland (in four days!) and working at Pride of Cleveland Scooters. Congratulations, and best of luck, you sexy thing. Rockford will miss you, and so will I.

While we sleep, Victoria’s Secret has been training an army of campus reps to hawk their new line of “bras, panties and sleepwear for college-aged women.” As we all know, college-aged women have vastly different panty needs than the rest of us. Anyway, Team Pink (Pink! Hello! Larry Flynt!) fulfilled their first mission today: hiding thousands of plush dogs (wouldn’t, ahem, cats be more appropriate?) on 20 campuses, which can be redeemed at the mall for a chance to win a custom Vespa Scooter. This puts Vic’s Sct. in compliance with House Bill 04-234-6, commonly known as the “Every single marketing campaign in the US must feature a custom Vespa giveaway.” law.

Swede neu-garage-rockers The Hives are promoting their new album with a Vespa Giveaway. If I win it, I’m gonna grow a porn mustache like their bass player has. Even if you don’t win, you get to hear their new song “Walk, Idiot, Walk,” and let me tell you, Milena is getting REALLY into it. Tack sŒ mycket, M5!

It’s official, the Honda PS250 is coming to the USA in 2005. Start saving up cash for the Scoot Utility Vehicle. Thanks for the tip, Chad!

SHX was nothing short of awesome, thanks to 22LSC and everyone else who made it happen. Personally, I’d like to thank Sloop John B for his laptop, and all three bands that played the rally for next to nothing. Hearing Waxon 7 on WLUW Full-On Friday made everything seem over the top and too real, and I couldn’t have been more pleasantly surprised with MegaShelleyDiggle’s Singles Going Steady set. Kristen asked me to let everyone to email her to order T-shirts (women’s/youth M and L, and men’s XL shirts) with Britton Walters’ art as seen above ($10) or embroidered patches ($5).

With two days of summer left: Waxon Seven’s “Why Don’t You Start?” Get ready to sing along tomorrow night. Thanks to everyone who came last night, the turnout was amazing! This weekend is going to rule.

From: Rebecca J. Anderson

“Quintronitron the Highlight of the Summer”

Quintronitron, the highly anticipated scooter event of the summer, was deemed a success after yesterday’s record-breaking attendance.

“It was fun,” Kathy Anderson, Vespa owner and Quintronitron attendee said. “We sat around, ate pizza, ate brownies, drank beer and watched Rob Loudin [also a scooterist] try to fix his scooter.”

Anderson added that it was “goodtimes”.

Because of the sheer number of scooterists going to Quintronitron, non-scooterists were neither informed, nor invited to the event.

“I really wanted to keep the number [of attendees] at a scootering minimum,” Silent Ron said. “Non-scooterists don’t get it and we don’t want their kind involved in any way. We’re picky bastards like that.”

“Quintronitron” was started by long-time roommates and scooterists J. Quinton Snodgrass and Silent Ron (last name withheld) in the summer of 1998.

-30-

CMSI announced August 12 that they’ll be using Piaggio engines in their new Lambretta scooters. (This from the same website that announced a few months ago that Andy Kaufman is alive, but I’m afraid this time, it’s not a cruel joke.) While Lambretta purists may cringe, it’s probably good news for scooterists in general. Thanks for the tip, elvis!

Chicago Sun-Times sports columnists Jay Mariotti and Greg Couch rent a scooter and trace the Olympic Marathon route in Greece. O! The things people are forced to endure in the name of journalism.

“And they share interests – music, Pabst Blue Ribbons and mopeds. .
Mostly mopeds.” The Tribune story about the Moped Army chicago rally, reprinted in Fort Wayne so you can read it without registering.

The Sonnets new CD Mystery Girl is out now ($8!). There’s a preview track on the site. The band features Chuck Uchida (ex-Defoliants/No Empathy) on Bass, Victor (who crashed my wedding, heh) on vocals and guitar and some dude I don’t know anything about on drums. They rock. Check ’em out.

If you’re going to be at Slaughterhouse and plan to buy a 2SB t-shirt, you can now preorder at the low, low price of $10. The shirts are going fast and pre-ordering will reserve a shirt in your size and color for easy, cash-free pickup at the rally. Please bring your PayPal email receipt with you to confirm your order.

Size/Color

XXL OliveXL OliveXL RoyalXL BurgundyL RoyalM Burgundy SOLD OUTYL Burgundy SOLD OUT

If you’re mail-ordering shirts for $12, click here. I underestimated shipping, so you’re getting a heck of a deal for $12, Monday, the price goes up to a slightly more reasonable $14. Thanks for all your orders, they’ve all shipped other than the ones I got this morning.